Current:Home > Invest'Chronically single' TikTokers go viral for sharing horrible dating advice -Horizon Finance School
'Chronically single' TikTokers go viral for sharing horrible dating advice
FinLogic FinLogic Quantitative Think Tank Center View
Date:2025-04-07 11:36:37
Are you in a relationship and giving unsolicited dating advice? Your "chronically single" friends may like a word.
Single people are going viral on TikTok for sharing the most unhelpful dating tips they've gotten from well-meaning friends in relationships. In one of the videos, with 4.6 million views, a woman shares some of the most frustrating clichés she hears as a self-described "chronically single 25-year-old."
At the top of her − and many others' − lists: "It'll happen when you least expect it."
"Will it?" she asks. "Quite some time actually I have not expected it, and it still hasn't happened." Another contender? Stop looking, and that's when you'll find it. "I haven't been looking, and it's the not looking, I fear, that has resulted in years of absolutely no contact with a man," she adds.
Her video has inspired a slew of other TikTokers to share the unhelpful advice they've heard − and dating experts say the trend speaks to frustrations single people feel not only with modern dating but also with people in relationships giving unwanted or out-of-touch feedback.
"Dating is harder than ever before," says Amy Chan, a dating coach and author of "Breakup Bootcamp: The Science of Rewiring Your Heart." "These platitudes are really condescending and minimize people's emotional experiences, and I think people are fed up."
More:People are paying thousands for 'dating boot camp' with sex experts. I signed up.
What 'chronically single' people are tired of hearing
The "chronically single" trend has been a way for singles to come together and commiserate over the worst dating advice they've received. Experts say it highlights how common some of these seemingly harmless platitudes have become − even if they're actually damaging to finding a relationship.
One of these oft-repeated platitudes, Chan says, is that a relationship will happen when you least expect it. She says this one is especially irresponsible, because it encourages singles not to put effort into meeting likeminded people, which is the best avenue for finding a relationship.
"These attitudes, they can spread and they can really stick in people's heads, because they're so catchy," Chan says. "And then people start believing them as truth."
Some of the platitudes are also insulting. One of these, Chan says, is that you have to love yourself before you can love anybody else, which another chronically single TikToker says he's tired of hearing in a video viewed 2.3 million times.
Get the latest internet buzz to your inbox with USA TODAY's Everyone's Talking newsletter.
It's true self-love is critical − but telling this to a single person implies they're single because they don't love themselves, which is not necessarily true.
"This journey of healing, it's not like you have to complete it before you're finally ready to meet someone," Chan says, adding it's not a journey that stops once you do get into a relationship either. "A lot of your growing can come in relation with someone else."
More:Chaotic Singles Parties are going viral on TikTok. So I went to one.
How to give real dating advice to your single friends
Blaine Anderson, a dating coach for men, says the complaints on TikTok show that we need to have empathy for those who want to find love but are struggling to do so.
However, she also says some of the chronically single TikTokers may be holding themselves back in ways they don't realize. For instance, many of them bemoan getting told to "put yourself out there," noting that they do go out to bars and are on dating apps.
While it's true they may be putting themselves out there in these ways, Anderson says the TikTokers may not be doing so in the best way. Instead of going to bars and clubs, she recommends meeting other singles through shared activities and interests.
Also, evaluate "how many new people you're meeting on a daily or weekly basis," Anderson says. "Technology and these social apps can lead people to thinking that they're meeting a lot of people and they're talking to a lot of people, but, if they actually write down every time they talk to a new person, the number is usually pretty low in real life."
Dating rules to avoid:Relationship experts say these common dating 'rules' are actually ruining your love life
If you know someone who's chronically single, often just listening and showing empathy are all they want from you. Only give advice, Anderson says, if they ask for it.
Also, don't assume singleness as necessarily a problem that needs to be solved.
"There's nothing inherently wrong with being single," Anderson says. "Approaching somebody and then giving them advice on how they can correct that problem, you're making a lot of assumptions."
Have you heard of 'relation-shopping'?It might be why you're still single.
And, if you're someone who's chronically single and does want a relationship, "Keep knowing that your path is unique," Chan says. "Maybe you'll spend your 20s in a relationship, and then maybe your later years not. Maybe it's going to be the other way around. There is no one right way."
veryGood! (3)
Related
- Federal hiring is about to get the Trump treatment
- The Bachelor’s Joey Graziadei Reveals the Warning He Was Given About Fantasy Suites
- Coronavirus FAQ: How long does my post-COVID protection last? When is it booster time?
- Ukraine says it has no evidence for Russia’s claim that dozens of POWs died in a shot down plane
- Former Syrian official arrested in California who oversaw prison charged with torture
- WWE's Vince McMahon resigns after being accused of sex trafficking, assault in lawsuit
- Bullfight advocates working with young people to attract new followers in Mexico
- 'It's crazy': Kansas City bakery sells out of cookie cakes featuring shirtless Jason Kelce
- As Trump Enters Office, a Ripe Oil and Gas Target Appears: An Alabama National Forest
- Lily Gladstone talks historic Oscar nomination and the Osage community supporting her career
Ranking
- Woman dies after Singapore family of 3 gets into accident in Taiwan
- US sees signs of progress on deal to release hostages, bring temporary pause to Israel-Hamas war
- 3 men were found dead in a friend’s backyard after watching a Chiefs game. Here’s what we know
- Science sleuths are using technology to find fakery in published research
- Man can't find second winning lottery ticket, sues over $394 million jackpot, lawsuit says
- GOP legislatures in some states seek ways to undermine voters’ ability to determine abortion rights
- Bullfight advocates working with young people to attract new followers in Mexico
- Jay Leno Files for Conservatorship Over Wife Mavis Leno's Estate
Recommendation
Tarte Shape Tape Concealer Sells Once Every 4 Seconds: Get 50% Off Before It's Gone
China’s top diplomat at meeting with US official urges Washington not to support Taiwan independence
U.S. women's figure skating at a crossroads amid Olympic medal drought of nearly 20 years
What is UNRWA, the main aid provider in Gaza that Israel accuses of militant links?
'Vanderpump Rules' star DJ James Kennedy arrested on domestic violence charges
A Publicly-Owned Landfill in Alabama Caught Fire and Smoldered for 50 Days. Nearby Residents Were Left in the Dark
The popularity of a far-right party produces counter-rallies across Germany
Soccer-mad Italy is now obsessed with tennis player Jannik Sinner after his Australian Open title